Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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