I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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