I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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