My nipple is on Facebook.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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