actually, I'm a sock model
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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