I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
