the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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