i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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