South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
