im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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