just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
