He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
