fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
