It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
