Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
