I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
