We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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