I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
