3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
