I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
