Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
