the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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