You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
