my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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