I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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