Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
