My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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