I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i think im in europe. pls send help
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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