sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
