i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
