if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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