I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
