So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
