i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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