I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
