just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
