You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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