She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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