used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
