dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
BRING THE BAGELS
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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