i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
