this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
