If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
