Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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