It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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