I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
