drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm always down for nudity.
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