it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
