it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
