No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
