CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
